1. DECIDE YOUR ROLES

•   What kind of relationship do you want to have?

•   Examples of different types are Daddy Dom/little girl, master/slave, boss/secretary, etc.       

2.  LIMITS

•   Make a contract with the other person and yourself.

•   Include hard and soft limits.  Discuss what to expect, what you need, and what you want.

3.  PART TIME OR 24/7?

•   Determine if this is just to be done in the bedroom, on weekends, or fulltime.

•   Long distance Dom/sub relationships can still be 24/7 through text or other means.

4.  SAFEWORDS

•   Pick safewords you both agree on.

•   One word for when the submissive is at their limit, and a second for when all activity of the Dominant needs to stop immediately.

5.  AFTERCARE

•  Vital after a scene when a sub can “drop” emotionally and mentally.

•  Combines caring for their needs and giving them reassurance.

6.  RITUALS

•  Create routines to keep both parties grounded in their roles.

•  Should always be chosen by the Dom for his pleasure

7.  BONDAGE

•   Using ropes, ties, and other restraints to remind the sub who is ultimately in control of her body.

•   It can also create anticipation and greatly increase arousal.

8.  DISCIPLINE

•  Punishments are vital to train the sub.

•  Corporal punishments and other forms of physical discipline can help teach the sub a lesson.

9.  JOURNAL

•  A sub’s safe place to express their feelings without being judged.

•  The Dom can read it to later “check-in” and help improve the relationship.